Aye right

4 things I tolerate at our house

Me and Le Chef.

We live in this flat together.

There are things I have to tolerate living in the flat with him.

(this list is not comprehensive)

Thing 1
I leave room for a few minutes and return to find the programme I was pretending to watch has been switched off and we are now watching EITHER a) a Korean martial arts movie with lots of improbably prancing across rooftops, decapitations and other general choppings and slicings of body parts OR b) another F-ing Zombie film.

Thing 2
Socks.  On the floor. Every day.

Thing 3
Bloody hippy-type music, the most hateful of which is The Grateful Dead (if only they were! - will I know some of them are dead, like Pigpen and Cherry,  but if they could all just shuffle off and take their recordings with them then I’d be Grateful that they are Expired).

Thing 4
Not being fed The Best Tomato Sauce In The World on my pasta.  Coz I make the best tomato sauce.  But I ain’t Le Chef, so I don’t do the cooking.  I do the tutting and criticizing!  Coz I’m in charge.  Aren’t I?